Yeah I’m still around

Time flies when you are having fun

This is a corny phrase but my writing has suffered greatly for some time and it will take a while to get it back to my witty punch-line of before. Much has happened but now I will just take baby steps to reclaim things back…

Entering a New Era

Tbd- Testing

 

D 2.0

A lifetime has seemed to pass since my last post and so much has changed and I hopefully will start to update again on a more consistent basis....

I hate cake...

If the statement you get what you want in life is true then apparently I have ignored the fine print that clearly states that what you want is not always what you need.

His name is Jason and from all outer appearances he is the perfect guy, late twenties, attorney, funny and easy to be around. We've done just about everything from the museum circuit, fancy dinners, theatre, to evenings with friends debating the silly little things in life that matter the most...and I even allowed him to partake in a trip to that special place where I go when I need to recharge...the Marc Jacobs store here in the village.

All is finally coming together, right??

Well, no, honestly the chemistry is not there and I am left wondering what the hell am I looking for?? I recently completed The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell and there is a part that mentions how even the most casual conversations between two people is like a dance. Our response to the others voice from shifting our body to a belly laugh or a touch of the arm shows that the sound is pleasing to our minds and we want to be surrounded by it as much as possible, I realized that with him I don't dance, I respond to what is being presented to me and nothing else.

What's a guy to do?

A good friend of mine believes that relationships are boring in essence, meaning that there is no drama, no miscommunication, no judgements, it is just two people that come together and build a foundation for some greater experience in life. Although I agree to some extent, I have to argue that the great thing about building is the thrill of watching something grow from nothing but what happens when there is no thrill? You are left with an mundane piece of architecture and when was the last time any of us made a point to go check out that new boring building that just opened downtown? Oh well..I'm sure it will work itself out and I can move on to ending the next relationship.

In other news, since my last posting I have finished reading three books, not only a personal record for me but also clearly a reflection that right now literati is what seems to make me dance at the moment. The selections were Sula (Toni Morrison), Unlubricated (Arthur Nersesian) and The Tipping Point (Malcolm Gladwell). Sula and Tipping Point were heavily filled with metaphors which I found not only enjoyable but attached to as I think the metaphoric portion of my brains clearly rules in the space between my ears. Unlubricaed was a fun read of a struggling actress trying to get a play off the ground so nothing really ground breaking. Up next is Haunted (Chuck Palahniuk and NYU alumni), Dry (Augusten Burroughs) and the Plot Against America (Philip Roth). I am also trying to work on adding music to my blog as I have discovered some really great bands and would love to have them listed as my song of the moment or something to that effect. Also speaking of music, I will be attending my 2nd concert ever in my life (no judgements) on September 16 at Webster Hall...I'll be checking out Zero 7 with a friend and words can't describe how excited I am to be able to experience an evening of their beautiful music live...hopefully Ill have a post before and after....

Uncharted Manhattan...

Having had my fill of downtown Manhattan, I decided to escape to the safe refuge of uptown Manhattan. I visited the Cloisters this weekend at the invitation of a friend and was thoroughly surprised as feeling as though I had escaped to the country for the weekend. The Cloisters are at the most northern tip of Manhattan and there are miles and miles of parkland with the centerpiece being a cathedral's museum that is an extension of the MET.

I met my friend at his apartment, which is located at 145th/Broadway. This was the furthest uptown I had ever been since moving to NYC and the first thing that I noticed was how much stimulus was everywhere as soon as you got off the subway. The same can be said for downtown at times but with it being the summer all of the downtown ballerinas are usually off to weekends in Fire Island or the Hamptons, but this was a different energy, and the mixture of races, sort of made me feel as if I had discovered Manhattan pre-gentrification. Anyhow, my friend and I had lunch and then jumped on the bus up to the Cloisters where it was an incredible afternoon of conversation while viewing medieval European art. The forementioned friend is 28, an attorney and someone I met at a speed-dating event I recently attended (no judgment). We have gone on maybe 5 or 6 dates and although I am far away from declaring being someone's boyfriend, it is nice to be with someone that enjoys the company of someone without pretense. Afterwards we had dinner and watched some TV really late and discussed the pros and cons of Kate Moss's getting caught snorting coke. On the train ride home this morning, I felt as though I was watching that energy slowly drain away as the train approached my stop and I was back in the world of make-believe relations, name dropping, and endless chatter of real estate, oh Downtown Manhattan, whatever are we going to do with you??

In other news, I am on the final pages of The Amazing Adventures of Kavelier and Clay, it a 600+ page book of friendship love(gay and straight) and life's constant struggles all based around comic books. I googled searched and a movie is in the works and should be released in 2007 with it being reported that Natalie Portman will be in the role of Rose a main character in the movie. Once completed with this, I will begin Unlubricated which I have put off far too long and is a short read.

Lastly, I have been given a promotion at work recently and it is something that comes with mixed emotions. It is still so new and everything is still so early that I can't believe that I actually got it. Once the dust settles a bit more I post more details until then....

The week that was....

The weekend is upon us and I am sitting here outside the closet...the heatwave has passed and it looks as if its going to be a beautiful day. My phone is off because I am broke and I am kind of enjoying the quiet time alone. I love my friends and my family dearly but for some reason I just feel as if I need a break from everyone and everything. I finally wrapped up The History of Love and it was a good book about how a book written years ago can affect generations not even in existense. Not really sure what I will read next, the Jane Austin classice Pride and Prejudice or Unlubricated a story about a struggling actor. Oh well not really inspired by much to continue writing.

A little sunshine goes a long way....

Very uneventful weekend of just hanging around the city, Friday night went to a terribly cute little restaurant in SOHO with my best friend and dessert in the west village and drinks at G where I introduced a guy that asked me out on a date to my friend but he abruptly left...guess he wasn't really feeling apart of the conversation despite our numerous attempts to try and include him. We left G and headed to the village for more drinks and dancing until 4 and I came home and crashed until late afternoon Saturday where I met another friend for dinner and convo which was really nice to be in the company of others again after spending a few weeks mooping around the closet.

The highlight of the weekend was checking out "Little Miss Sunshine" with a friend. Think Royal Tennebaums meets The Griswold family vacation with some very modern updates and you get an idea. At times I found myself laughing as well as well as crying and left feeling that I was given a little ray of sunshine to take away with me. The movie deals with some very serious issues such as suicide and disappointment just to name a few. All the characters are superb and no one shines above the rest, it is something that I highly recommend and look forward to adding to the collection once it arrives on DVD.

In other news, I have wrapped up my 4th book a classic by Hemingway (The Sun Also Rises) although this was a very short read, I was disappointed from start to finish with this novel having never felt a connection to any of the characters and only continuing to read to get to the end. My latest selection is The History of Love and I will be adding a review of this book once completed.

That pretty much wraps up the weekend, I need to head to sleep for what I am sure is going to be a very hot and grueling week ahead.

This is my heart, and it's broken....

A while ago I wrote about the sensation of love (see archives) and I am pleased to report that I finally had the opportunity to experience this sensation. Although brief and extremely rocky it was everything that I had hoped it would be and every moment I was in entrapped in this emotion, I savored it for I knew it would end. It truly pains me to write this entry, my heart is broken, my spirit is crushed and time heals all wounds but time is an infinite things that keeps ticking toward the next moment. I never got to share half of what I felt inside for him to him and I will forever regret missing this opportunity. I believed he was a troubled soul and hoped inside that he would realize that his soul was all that I loved, I admired what he accomplished but never loved it, it is a material item that can be lost in an instant and although I tried to convey this feeling to him on several occasions, I don't think the message was ever fully received by him.

I have given him his wish of wanting to be set free and only hope that he finds in someone else that passion and inspiration I saw in him and now I only hope that one day I am lucky enough to experience that sensation again.

DaJaterlino calls it quits...

New, York, NY - June 29, 2006-Hot downtown couple DaJaterlino calls it quits after 2 1/2 months of dating. The couple met in their West Village neighborhood and took lower Manhattan and parts of the Caribbean by storm during their brief time together as an item. The couple had allegedly planned numerous trips together in and out of the city, all of which have either been cancelled or will only feature one-half of the former duo, but it is something that has not been confirmed by either parties.

"I went into this relationship completely open, honest and with no high expectations, but after being criticized for everything from living arrangements to the way I dress to finally the way I speak, I had to choose my personal happiness over that of someone that clearly could not find one positive thing in what I had to offer." D said in a brief interview after the announcement was made public that the couple had decided to part ways. In response, J has been quoted saying, "Yes I expected a lot going into this and it is unfortunate that D could not provide me with things I need to move forward toward taking steps to building a relationship, I wish him the best in overcoming all of the things that are hindering him from being the person I feel he could become."

The couple was last spotted in public together a week ago with having cocktails at a neighborhood establishment, but quickly departed ways after a stroll through Chelsea. Both have asked that their privacy be respected during this tough ordeal.

No wire hangers......

Having attended a film festival with the beau tonight (forgot to mention a gay film festival but who is hung up on details) led me to think about our tiny island and sexuality. There are very few places on the planet where a gay/lesbian chooses or more commonly are forced to run away to be able to live there life as they fully want to without much of the discrimination found in the so called heartland of America, which you have to wonder that if a majority of the citizens of a country's' so-called "heartland" are the same individuals that possess so much hatred, angry and ignorance toward someone that only wants to follow their heart, what does that say about that country? Getting back on track, being in attendance of this film festival with a room filled with fellow gay and lesbians, I couldn't help but to feel that to some extent we all left the cozy closet of the heartland for the gritty yet still ever confiding closet of New York.

There are very few places on the planet where one can live their life how they choose and when they chose than in New York City.

You live your life as a drag queen? Are you free for Canasta Mondays?
A sadist masochist lesbian with a thing for Asians? Hey neighbor, can I borrow a cup of sugar?

New York, to clarify, Manhattan proper, affords you the opportunity to be all these things and more (hoping to never find out what that more is) but at what cost? You leave this tiny island and poof you are back in that closet for fear of your safety, even if you venture out of your accepting neighborhood, to some extent you are back in that closet due to lack of acceptance in that part of the city...don't believe me, try holding hands with your boyfriend in the east 80s and tell me it's the same nonchalance as being in the west 20s. Also to some extent those that claim to have left the closet find themselves trapped in another type of closet filled with items purchased on impulse such as meaningless sex, fickle friends, and a deep sense of vain just to name a few. Others find solace in sharing their closet with someone special and together build a home out of the two spaces.

By no means am I saying I prefer one form of the closet over the other, I have chose the later of the two but hopefully there will be a day when none of that matters and the closet I live in here will be the same closet I am in no matter where my travels take me, but for now I need to brush up on my canasta abilities.

The envelope please....

There should be an award for people that are able to meet, date (and by date I mean getting to know more than what the other person genitals look and in some cases..taste like) commit and remain in NYC. In a city that "never sleeps" opportunities are ever present and to find someone else that can turn off the stimulus that drives the island is a rare occurrence. After months of, "call me sometime," "we should get together again," and the infamous "that was hot," I have managed to somewhat land into a "relationship" after a little over six weeks of hanging included a trip away. Why do I use somewhat?? Well realistic this is still the city where the inhabitants (included myself) have fine tuned the ancient art of neurosis so anything is bound to happen.

With that being sad...am I here to proclaim I have found my knight in shining armor that has come to save me from the confines of my closet on Perry? Is he the one in which day turns into night and night turns into day as we are unable to control the passion that boils over when we see each other? Does he finish my sentences before I can??

No

So what/why is it you might ask that I am writing about this particular guy? Well in the little span of this six week adventure I and to a some extent we (although I will continue to use my last name, my address, my way of thinking and anything related to or involving me) have managed to deal with issues on both sides ranging from an age differences (yes it is always exciting and pleasing to know where you were in life when I was just entering it) to points in life to issues involving currency and to me this is worth reporting. It is nice to have encountered someone that knows how to hold a name rather than constantly drop them, someone that knows what and where happens on a particular night of the week and doesn't feel like they have to be there and so on and so on. I'm not saying that my actions have warranted any kind of awards or any acknowledgements publicly but privately I am hoping one day to at least receive a small nomination.

Sugar is the new black!!

I have read about it...

I have thought about it..

I have done countless hours of internet search learning about it..

What you may ask what I am referring to? It is the sugaring treatment for body hair removal. As spring approaches, and hopefully warmer weather, I thought maybe this season I'll go completely hairless and see how it feels to be a walking fetus.

The whole process came as a result of reading a recent issue of Cargo magazine where one of the writers gave his account of the process. Below is my story...

I've been hairy, wait, no I am hairy. I was born with a fully functional body hair gene. If I remember correctly I had a full beard by the time I was in the 9th grade. Some would be envious of this ability, some repulse, I kind of fall right in the middle. I don't mind body hair, as long it is not on me or women for that matter. So having always had an abundant amount of this, I have long agonized on shaving, but try getting laid while hiding the bumps on your ass, or siting in a chair with stubble...its like sitting in a bed of thorns. Then there is Nair, which is basically acid in a bottle, take it off too soon and you've wasted your time, leave it on to long and watch 4 layers of skin get washed down the drain. Either way you are left walking around the rest of the day smelling like you just used Nair. Electrolysis and laser are a bit out of my budget right now so that leaves waxing and sugaring.

Sugaring is basically waxing but instead of applying the melted hot (or should I say scorching hell) liquid to your skin it is a paste that is applied and pulled off. I decided it was time for me to take the leap into the world of hairless. I booked my appointment very last minute and after discovering a place near my apartment, I called and before I knew it I was in the treatment room naked and laying on a strip of paper, the technician did allow me plenty of time to de-robe and get comfortable so when she entered the room it felt more like an old friend dropping by than the iron fisted lady of pain I had envisioned.

We said our hellos and the treatment began...believe it or not the pain was minimal and the entire process took about an hour during which I was in some pretty compromising positions with my technician. You are advised not to shower for a few hours after the treatment as your body is still sensitive so I spent the remainder of the afternoon sticking to my clothes but the feeling of no body hair was incredible a few days later after all the residue was washed away, I felt like a newborn man (no pun intended on the use of newborn). The treatment lasted more than 5 weeks and the regrowth was light and barely noticeable.

Would I recommend this to everyone?? No...but for me its the first time that I am truly looking forward to savoring sugar all summer long.

A Mesh of a Day...

It is amazing at how unhappy in life people are but suicide is relatively taboo when in some cases it should not only be encouraged but just as people are sentenced for committing crimes against others, people also should be sentenced to go to a place close the door and kill themselves for the better of mankind.

There is this client, a fat, bucket of utter wasted human parts. He is a meeting planner and is proud to claim that he has been one for 30 years...this means for the last 30 years he has perfected the art of assigned turned down amenities to people, this means for the last 30 years he has discovered pinpoint accuracy in how much punch should be served at the party, this means for the last 30 years his life has been a complete facade of supposedly world traveling on someone else's dime and at the beckon call to that person when the remote control in the guestroom can't be found.

It is not to say that I don't hold a great deal of respect for meeting planners, I do, in-fact any job that I can't see myself doing I have the most respect for. It is people like this fat sack of shit with whom I will never respect. Someone who is so miserable in life the only way to get through the day is to constantly verbalize that "this is of course business and not personal." Why would I take something personal from someone that I've never met and how runs his business out of the basement of his barn home with his half tooth daughter who is probably the hottest thing in town since the town's pigs are all be eaten by her dad.

This guy calls our office for a fucking postcard and yells and screams that it wasn't handled in a timely fashion. As if my entire day is to ensure that this shithead has a postcard to print a message on for another group of assholes to pretend hopefully conjure up excitement for a trip that is more than a year away. Yes, clearly suicide is the best choice for these people as it would probably be the best decision they made in their entire lives.

In other news, bloomingdales (another place that I will have a topic on very shortly) had a fantastic sale on my favorite underwear, the Calvin Klein mesh briefs, if you never scratched your balls with a pair of mesh briefs on then you have not experienced all that life has to offer.

Guy wise, I am shaping up to be quite the social butterfly (aka the whore that teases instead of offering it up) lately. Dinner plans have established for Jay (ex boyfriend from HS which is another topic I don't know if I could ever bring myself to talk about....actually I could). Douglass (aka the writer who played two pieces of Mozart for me and totally had me in a trance) a third guy is program in my cellphone but I think that may cancel. Ric, my older friend who is really sweet and just may finally help me to break into the PR field in the city (I'm so ready to quite my job and all the BS and move on to new BS at least in a field I want to be in) and Vincent a French lawyer to be attending NYU.

Yes it has been awhile and much has developed and more is forming but now my balls need scratching and I need to get some sleep.

Brrr!!!

It is damn cold here!

I know this is New York and I know that it is February, but it is so cold that I anxiously anticipate the gentle caress of summer. The days of waking up on a bright warm morning, showering and throwing a hot little couture item to run (strut) around the city in so carelessly, ok reality check...it is more like finding something clean that isn't to wrinkled from the pits of my closet. I know it has been a while since I have placed a post here and believe me this isn't due to a new guy in my life. It has been mostly due to travel (Paris), school (don't ask) and guys (don't ask but buy me a drink and I'll sing like a canary).

With things settling down and bit and with no end in sight to me ever actually having money, I felt that it is time for me to get better acquainted with this medium and posting the gong's on of a gay male in NYC.

Have a good night and more to share shortly!

The Nicotine Addiction of an IPOD

Recently in class, there was a heated discussion about cigarettes and there addictive effects on people. I have smoked a few but never felt a need for them, I just did it because I purchased a pack and I would be damn if I would just throw out that money. Once I was finished however, I never purchased another pack, I didn't go through the withdrawals and a couple of times when I was out and about with friends I would even share theirs...but that was months ago and I haven't the faintest desire to try again.

However, there is something that I and a few hundred thousand of my fellow NYers can not live without...and that is our IPOD. I can't help but to compare the two as I observe on a daily basis people relationship with their IPOD. IPODs are small and fit perfectly into your pocket (just like a pack of cigarettes), they come in different varieties (slim aka Shuffle, lights aka Nano, filtered aka the new model with video and slim and unfiltered aka any model previously released). How many times have you seen people that as soon as they leave their office building to head for the train, pull out their pack and light up the screen to find the soothing release of song?

When I am out and about on weekends and I don't have my IPOD, sometimes I feel as if I missing something...I am missing that urge to surround myself with my music and drown out all that is around me...from boisterous teenagers to lost tourist...just as the perception of not wanting to talk to people that smoke, I think the same holds true for people that are listening to their IPODs. Is this a good thing?? No, the one benefit of a cigarette is that you have 15 minutes twice a day to go out and puff and usually you would strike up a conversation with a fellow smoker that you often see at the same time and if you were lucky they became your buddy and a friendship may develop if from nothing else a common love of the smoke. I highly doubt the day will come when we will be able to stop what we are doing to head out of the building to stand around for 10-15 minutes listening to songs that are pent up in our minds. But think how awesome it would be to have that and to meet fellow IPODers and to discuss what you are listening to and to find new music through your "listening buddy." I am hopefully that this may happen someday, but until then I am just find with my little pack of music.

The sensation of love...

Having escaped the city for a weekend at a friends place in Queens gave me the time to reflect on a few things. Here I am surrounded by moments of the past of my friends life with her husband and I couldnt help but to wonder what is love?

We have all claimed to be in love but I can not say that I have enjoyed the full potential of this emotion. I love my family and friends but I have yet to experience to experience the love of a man. Though I put on the facade of not wanting this love, why do I find myself day dreaming of what it would be like to wake up next to someone..to watch him sleep, to listen to the rhythm of his heart, to feel the warmth of his skin against mine. What it would be like to place my hand on his and feel the sensation of his squeeze though he remains a sleep. To be at my desk in the middle of the day and get a phone call saying "Im in the area and I want to see you." To walk around on the weekend and share thoughts and jokes. To build something other than muscle with someone.

On the other side I wonder what it would be like to have a argument. A heated debate over a trivial point, to slam the phone in each other's face, to say I don't want to speak with you right now. To be so angry with someone because you thought you knew their pysche yet you can not figure out how an argument could have gotten so out of hand, but then to see him and it no longers matters and before you know it you are back in that bed watching him sleep again.

How do you build this love? Time and time again you open yourself for this emotion and nothing happens and its hurts the same each time. No matter how you try to deal or prepare the hurt is still the same just with a different guy. Am I jaded? No but with each time I wonder if this emotion is even for me. I have a wonderful life, I enjoy my job and I am going to a school I want when I want. My friends are geniune and each one hold a special place in my heart so why do I need to confuse things with the emotion of love?

I can only hope if and when this emotions happens for me, I can look it in the face and feel the sensation of it's hand and not want to be any place else but in that moment of love

Just another manic Wednesday??

Truly uneventful day here in the city..awoke early showered shave as normal, checked my voicemail and had a message from Mart..called to say a quick hello and convo turned a bit sexual after being asked what I was wearing....of course my only reply after a hot shower in my triple head marble bath was that I was wearing a cloth towel that barely covered my petite waist with my house slippers, the black 6" stilleto so nothing worth really noting...but I refrained from sharing this and just answered truthfully which was boxers and a t-shirt. After a bit of back and forth we said our good-byes and made time to meet later....I headed out in my normal routine and said a quiet good morning to my clothes from the laudromat that I have yet to pickup. Reaching 8th ave to see only what can be described as a bit alarming scene..the street was blanketed by smoke and when I made it to the corner of 14th/8th there was a large dark smoke cloud northwest and of course no one knew what was going on. Making my way down into the subway, which by now had been filled with smoke, and yet no one in an authoritive role said anything, welcome to NYC.

Work was work and afterwards I treated myself to a mani and pedi...heading home and along the way noticed that men here give a ton of eye contact but there is never any follow through and could it be that they are shy or are there just a secret society of guys among uus that like to play the staring game.

Anyhow now in my room and thinking of what to do...have other thoughts and stories I could share but tonight I think I am just going to end it on that note and save the creative juices for another time.

The Feminization of Masculinity

I have a friend that recently moved to New York City. He is a sweet guy, and loves fashion, to the point where he eat, sleeps and breathes the genre. It is reflected in his convo, and of course in his attire. He is not afraid to pair a pair of cowboy boots with his Hermes-esque bag and to wrap it all up in a pretty pashmina. Last one to judge I can only observe and give a witty banter whenever I deem it appropriate. Thinking of him, made me wonder what does it mean to be masculine and feminine?

In any other parts of this country that is a simple question, masculine is thought of as “a guy” someone that exude what it takes to be a man, crotch grabbing, lewd comments and all. He prefers an evening with the other “guys” watching the game or grabbing a few beers. He has a total take me as I am attitude but this is a natural unpretentious matter, it just is what it is. His enjoyment is based on what he likes and not what it considered hot or of the moment.

Feminine is something soft, someone that waxes, shaves, plucks, and primps. An evening is usually comprised of a colorful drink over gossip with the girls. The attitude is that I would like someone to rescue and take care of me. The enjoyment is based on what is hot at that moment and whatever is printed in the glossy that tells what you should do.

Rules however are made to be broken and in no other place outside of Europe (and this is only coming from my conversations with people that have traveled there and from the little research I have done) are the lines between masculine and feminine more confusing than in New York City. Men primp, wax and trim but they may or not be gay. In NYC it is acceptable for men to explore their feminine side and not be banished to the woods. Men can carry bags not for books, and wear boots not for work. Scraves can be worn to match socks and pink, red, lime and every other color is the new black. A mani and pedi is required for some careers and to be versed in literature will only benefit the many social gatherings held in our little Mayberry. Is this the norm? Of course not, but everything about this city is not norm, again that what makes it so great. Yet with all of the relaxation of the separation, I can help to think when is it taken to far. A guy that chooses to wrap himself in a pashmina? But why? Why do we have to place guys into two boxes, masculine and feminine and why are those that are in the feminine box more often downgraded by the ones that consider themselves masculine?

The Ending of the Begining

Dont make me over....

It is always refreshing when you meet someone here, and it is especially nice to have a pleasant conversation with them and plan a meeting. I have done this with a new guy I am happy to report. His name is Mart and we met at a happy hour I attended a couple of times and I finally gave him my number and email address (?!?), believe me the conversation was not earth shattering that time, sometimes I like to give me number out just in the hopes of having a missed call(as you can see, it is truly the little things in life that motivate me). Anyhow, he seems like a nice guy and we are even planning to meet sometime this week. One thing I noticed about him is that he asked what I was looking or hoping for...none of the guys I have met have ever asked me that..not that I have been a helpless puppy dog constantly looking for a command (ok that one or five times before, but that's all) but honestly I've never been asked that and it got me to think what do we want....

Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do

When meeting someone we try our hardest to put on the apperance that we feel is our best, at least most of us do this. We wear our cutest outfit, we use as close to the proper language as we hope, we dont eat a full meal (if we even eat), and at every moment we try to be adorable and cute and worthy of a second date at the same time. This is no easy task and frankly I am fed up with it...even though I havent gotten to that point, Im looking forward to meeting someone as me, fat pants, old-navy t-shirt, country twang guy that refuses to shave everyday. I wonder what he will revel but it will be a meeting under no pretense or preparation a total stripped down evening. After all isnt the point of a relationship whether sexual or platonic the comfort we feel in being ourselves around that person? Do such dates occur, I am sure...look at those that call themselves "couples."

So what am I expecting to come of this?? Honestly nothing just like it has happened many, many, many, many times before (bitter party of 1 please)...but that what is great about living here...the princes are waiting to be kissed to be turned into toads and though it may hurt it has to be for the best. Right?

A Definition...

As I sit here at the library anxiously counting down the seconds before Madonna's new CD is released (already pre-ordered through Itunes of course) I started to think of her other songs, which led me to think of words which somehow developed into thinking about the words that have been used by gay men so much that I wonder how are these terms oficially defined and how they amazingly relate to the gay lifestyle. Not only are these words used on a daily basis, they are essential to all that is sacred in the gay belly of York. They include, but are not limited to the following: Top, Bottom, Versatile, Safe, Masculine, Feminine, Hung, Jock, Discreet. Gay men have perfected the art of interrogation to the point where all of these terms can be woven into one simple question....

"Stats?"

But what do some of these words really mean?*

Top-1 a (1) : the highest point, level, or part of something : SUMMIT, CROWN (2) : the head or top of the head -- used especially in the phrase top to toe (3) : the head of a plant and especially one with edible roots (4) : a garment worn on the upper body b (1) : the highest or uppermost region or part (2) : the upper end, edge, or surface

Gay meaning:
I stick it in you

Bottom-1 a : the underside of something b : a surface (as the seat of a chair) designed to support something resting on it c : the posterior end of the trunk : BUTTOCKS, RUMP

Gay Meaning:
You stick it in me

Versatile-The ability to easily turn from one position to another.

Gay Meaning:
I could stick in you today but tomorrow you got to stick it in me

Safe-Free from harm or risk

Gay Meaning:
TBD

These are just a few examples, there are others that have such a secret conotation that they have been easily summed into initials such as bb and pnp, both are which happily out of my realm of everyday life. In the pursuit of happiness, why do some preoccupy themselves more with what will be revealed in the bedroom?

*All definitions provided by the kind folks of Merriam-Webster Dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/). "Merriam, we put funk in the book, literally."