The Feminization of Masculinity

I have a friend that recently moved to New York City. He is a sweet guy, and loves fashion, to the point where he eat, sleeps and breathes the genre. It is reflected in his convo, and of course in his attire. He is not afraid to pair a pair of cowboy boots with his Hermes-esque bag and to wrap it all up in a pretty pashmina. Last one to judge I can only observe and give a witty banter whenever I deem it appropriate. Thinking of him, made me wonder what does it mean to be masculine and feminine?

In any other parts of this country that is a simple question, masculine is thought of as “a guy” someone that exude what it takes to be a man, crotch grabbing, lewd comments and all. He prefers an evening with the other “guys” watching the game or grabbing a few beers. He has a total take me as I am attitude but this is a natural unpretentious matter, it just is what it is. His enjoyment is based on what he likes and not what it considered hot or of the moment.

Feminine is something soft, someone that waxes, shaves, plucks, and primps. An evening is usually comprised of a colorful drink over gossip with the girls. The attitude is that I would like someone to rescue and take care of me. The enjoyment is based on what is hot at that moment and whatever is printed in the glossy that tells what you should do.

Rules however are made to be broken and in no other place outside of Europe (and this is only coming from my conversations with people that have traveled there and from the little research I have done) are the lines between masculine and feminine more confusing than in New York City. Men primp, wax and trim but they may or not be gay. In NYC it is acceptable for men to explore their feminine side and not be banished to the woods. Men can carry bags not for books, and wear boots not for work. Scraves can be worn to match socks and pink, red, lime and every other color is the new black. A mani and pedi is required for some careers and to be versed in literature will only benefit the many social gatherings held in our little Mayberry. Is this the norm? Of course not, but everything about this city is not norm, again that what makes it so great. Yet with all of the relaxation of the separation, I can help to think when is it taken to far. A guy that chooses to wrap himself in a pashmina? But why? Why do we have to place guys into two boxes, masculine and feminine and why are those that are in the feminine box more often downgraded by the ones that consider themselves masculine?