The Ending of the Begining

Dont make me over....

It is always refreshing when you meet someone here, and it is especially nice to have a pleasant conversation with them and plan a meeting. I have done this with a new guy I am happy to report. His name is Mart and we met at a happy hour I attended a couple of times and I finally gave him my number and email address (?!?), believe me the conversation was not earth shattering that time, sometimes I like to give me number out just in the hopes of having a missed call(as you can see, it is truly the little things in life that motivate me). Anyhow, he seems like a nice guy and we are even planning to meet sometime this week. One thing I noticed about him is that he asked what I was looking or hoping for...none of the guys I have met have ever asked me that..not that I have been a helpless puppy dog constantly looking for a command (ok that one or five times before, but that's all) but honestly I've never been asked that and it got me to think what do we want....

Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do

When meeting someone we try our hardest to put on the apperance that we feel is our best, at least most of us do this. We wear our cutest outfit, we use as close to the proper language as we hope, we dont eat a full meal (if we even eat), and at every moment we try to be adorable and cute and worthy of a second date at the same time. This is no easy task and frankly I am fed up with it...even though I havent gotten to that point, Im looking forward to meeting someone as me, fat pants, old-navy t-shirt, country twang guy that refuses to shave everyday. I wonder what he will revel but it will be a meeting under no pretense or preparation a total stripped down evening. After all isnt the point of a relationship whether sexual or platonic the comfort we feel in being ourselves around that person? Do such dates occur, I am sure...look at those that call themselves "couples."

So what am I expecting to come of this?? Honestly nothing just like it has happened many, many, many, many times before (bitter party of 1 please)...but that what is great about living here...the princes are waiting to be kissed to be turned into toads and though it may hurt it has to be for the best. Right?

A Definition...

As I sit here at the library anxiously counting down the seconds before Madonna's new CD is released (already pre-ordered through Itunes of course) I started to think of her other songs, which led me to think of words which somehow developed into thinking about the words that have been used by gay men so much that I wonder how are these terms oficially defined and how they amazingly relate to the gay lifestyle. Not only are these words used on a daily basis, they are essential to all that is sacred in the gay belly of York. They include, but are not limited to the following: Top, Bottom, Versatile, Safe, Masculine, Feminine, Hung, Jock, Discreet. Gay men have perfected the art of interrogation to the point where all of these terms can be woven into one simple question....

"Stats?"

But what do some of these words really mean?*

Top-1 a (1) : the highest point, level, or part of something : SUMMIT, CROWN (2) : the head or top of the head -- used especially in the phrase top to toe (3) : the head of a plant and especially one with edible roots (4) : a garment worn on the upper body b (1) : the highest or uppermost region or part (2) : the upper end, edge, or surface

Gay meaning:
I stick it in you

Bottom-1 a : the underside of something b : a surface (as the seat of a chair) designed to support something resting on it c : the posterior end of the trunk : BUTTOCKS, RUMP

Gay Meaning:
You stick it in me

Versatile-The ability to easily turn from one position to another.

Gay Meaning:
I could stick in you today but tomorrow you got to stick it in me

Safe-Free from harm or risk

Gay Meaning:
TBD

These are just a few examples, there are others that have such a secret conotation that they have been easily summed into initials such as bb and pnp, both are which happily out of my realm of everyday life. In the pursuit of happiness, why do some preoccupy themselves more with what will be revealed in the bedroom?

*All definitions provided by the kind folks of Merriam-Webster Dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/). "Merriam, we put funk in the book, literally."

New York City is filthy...and the streets are dirty

NYC is full of shit...and not just the image of steaming feces that comes to mind when that word is said but also invicible shit...to live in NYC is to constantly peddle through layers of shit and only those with a high tolerance level for this shit are willing to do it day in and day out...

NYC, New York, Manhattan..there are a ton of names for this place...I call it home, at least for now. New York is a place where if you make it here than you can make it anywhere right? But what is the definition of making it?