Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Fat as a cat
After a weekend of pizza, mallamars, cheesecake and others..im really hitting rock bottom on the scale and waiting for thintervention to take place..hopefully this will be a start for me..i love this song and it kind of makes me want to work out...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Venti...
I am having such a difficult time with the phrase efficientcy…
Loosely the term just refers to getting the best result while reducing time lost. If a camera were to be installed at my desk, I would probably become the poster child of what not to do at work. It’s not the I’m lazy, its not that I couldn’t find something to do it just that to be uninspired and to work in an environment where driving is the norm and cigarette smoking seems mandatory I just feel like I prefer to be a fly on the wall at the moment rather than an active member of the team. This is coming on the day of a baseball “team outing” what does that mean? You technically sit and watch a baseball game and you don’t socialize, I stopped drinking, doing drugs, eating meat and working on going off dairy, but I just feel like all of my efforts are going along in a humdrum kind of way…
Loosely the term just refers to getting the best result while reducing time lost. If a camera were to be installed at my desk, I would probably become the poster child of what not to do at work. It’s not the I’m lazy, its not that I couldn’t find something to do it just that to be uninspired and to work in an environment where driving is the norm and cigarette smoking seems mandatory I just feel like I prefer to be a fly on the wall at the moment rather than an active member of the team. This is coming on the day of a baseball “team outing” what does that mean? You technically sit and watch a baseball game and you don’t socialize, I stopped drinking, doing drugs, eating meat and working on going off dairy, but I just feel like all of my efforts are going along in a humdrum kind of way…
Monday, July 21, 2008
Confection Connection...
Coming off quite an emotional weekend, the bf and I went through a dramatic situation which I am not happy to admit was my fault. He is the kind of guy that is very sensible, practical, and really looks at situations logical before emotionally, I on the other hand begin to day dream months and years in advance for things (usually while sitting at work) but they never come out as planned and like our current administration I start the finger pointing to blame on the breakdown of the situation.
I happened to celebrate my 8th annual 21st birthday last week…I’m getting older, I’m fat as a house and I’m working with a group of people that a large majority of them leave a lot to the imagination in the intellectual department, but I digress for my birthday, I had nothing physically planned yet I wanted to spend the evening with my bf with the hopes of us coming up with something magical to do (seriously this was going through my head) long story short he had plans (2 hrs of the evening) I blew a gasket and came to his place still not expecting anything but receiving a cake that for whatever reason shattered my mental image of what I had hoped happened for the day. Looking back the scene was a bit reminiscent of the ending of 16 candles…NO I didn’t awake to my aunt grabbing my tits, NO I didn’t attend a wedding and NO I’m not 16 ugggh but picture the ending is sort of how the bf presented the cake and I basically stomped over what could have been an romantic evening.
As a result, I almost lost someone that means so much to me that I realized what alone in NYC really was and it was scary, and I’m not the type that has had a constant relationship since 4 but with whatever path I am taking I’m slowly but surely starting to gain focus on what truly matters and although I’m kicking and screaming about it, my life is evolving so I reached out, I apologized, I admitted my faults (not first time but not a serial habit) and I laid everything on the line to him and he could have taken this information and thrown it in my face, he could have ignored this plea completely, and many many other negative choices instead he opened his heart, mind and home and welcomed me back with no rules, no boundaries, he just welcomed me back to where we left off…sitting down enjoying a delicious slice of cake together.
I happened to celebrate my 8th annual 21st birthday last week…I’m getting older, I’m fat as a house and I’m working with a group of people that a large majority of them leave a lot to the imagination in the intellectual department, but I digress for my birthday, I had nothing physically planned yet I wanted to spend the evening with my bf with the hopes of us coming up with something magical to do (seriously this was going through my head) long story short he had plans (2 hrs of the evening) I blew a gasket and came to his place still not expecting anything but receiving a cake that for whatever reason shattered my mental image of what I had hoped happened for the day. Looking back the scene was a bit reminiscent of the ending of 16 candles…NO I didn’t awake to my aunt grabbing my tits, NO I didn’t attend a wedding and NO I’m not 16 ugggh but picture the ending is sort of how the bf presented the cake and I basically stomped over what could have been an romantic evening.
As a result, I almost lost someone that means so much to me that I realized what alone in NYC really was and it was scary, and I’m not the type that has had a constant relationship since 4 but with whatever path I am taking I’m slowly but surely starting to gain focus on what truly matters and although I’m kicking and screaming about it, my life is evolving so I reached out, I apologized, I admitted my faults (not first time but not a serial habit) and I laid everything on the line to him and he could have taken this information and thrown it in my face, he could have ignored this plea completely, and many many other negative choices instead he opened his heart, mind and home and welcomed me back with no rules, no boundaries, he just welcomed me back to where we left off…sitting down enjoying a delicious slice of cake together.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
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